Eventful

...but not overwhelming! [Zombie "Uggggggggg"]

7:00am Alarm went off
7:35am Got out of the shower shivering
7:45am Dressed and attempted to make coffee, ended up filtering it by hand. Had 2 eggs and 2 toast
7:50am Attempted to print my two essays before leaving and failed
8am Decided to edit them while the printer was busy un-freezing itself
8:45am Emailed my note-taker and told her I was going to be late
8:55am Took the wrong freeway
9am Spent 15 mins getting on another freeway, but the wrong direction
9:15am Paid for parking
9:20am Finally arrived late for my 8:45am class
9:40am Turned in my essay
10-1pm Second class
1:30pm Counseling session on campus
2:30pm Writing Center to work on my essay with someone
3:30pm Discovered a $20 parking ticket because I had paid for the parking space beside me
4pm Got to the condo to pick up Eric's new Camero
6pm Got home after some crazy traffic and finally ate something! Baked potato! Yum!
6:30pm Gathering motivation to continue working on my essay
8pm Looked at a hot tub we're going to buy
9pm Ate dinner
10:30pm Got home [don't remember much]
11:55pm Went to bed

This morning:
Mental: 5 Physical: 7

Tonight:
Mental: 6 Physical: 8

Estimate at bedtime:
Mental 9, Physical 8.5

Essay, better today

Feeling better now physically, but mentally I don't quite have the energy to do any serious writing, even this blog is a push.

I'm still saving energy for this essay, I haven't given up and I'm avoiding additional stress from pushing myself too hard, which compounds my mental fatigue. Taking it frustratingly slow.

Mental: 8, Physical: 3
Factors: Schoolwork
Last thing done: Resting, listening to music and taking it easy...still saving up energy for that essay.

Not So Good - Morning

"cool, a true multitasker or [you] need distractons to focus cause you think on multiple levels." - Mike

Mental: 3, Physical 7
Factors: Cold last night, took nyquil, forgot my paxil, woke up in a short panic, haven't wrote my essay, going to miss class again.
Last thing done to help: Drank coffee and took my missed pills.

there's levels of thinking that I just seem to fall just short of from the material because of these time constraints.

Snow Day saved my behind

me: yes!!! saved by the weather!

school is cancellledeldeldeldle!!!!!

Sent at 9:47 PM on Monday

Gail: snow day!

i see saved by the snow

you are a stinker, a lucky one!

me: lol

yeah, no kidding

Gail: and all your work doesnt have to be perfect

me: sigh

Gail: 5 minute fix

me: but I want it at least to look like a 1-week average paper from a Junior

Sent at 9:48 PM on Monday

me: I mean, if it was just cramming thoughts on paper in an hour-long essay test, that I can do if I don't need to recall any information, like Mr. Mitzack's physic class essay tests

but this is like, limit it to 3 pages, and do research and quote people!

and they give us so much material to work with I just seem to barely get all my thoughts on paper in a way I can understand them

I bet you can edit them with me and make them better

Gail: hmm maybe do your own thoguhts first, like mitsak, then go back and interject your research to justifly and back up your thoughts?

me: yup, that's what I've been doing

but I'm just so full of thoughts

I have to limit them when I start writing

or cut them out later

but just writing them down takes so much of my brain's energy

it's like, write 3 pages, wait a day, add reasearch, wait a day, edit it, wait a day, then final edit it with feedback

but this time it was like 42 pages of reading before the writing phase

Gail: maybe an outline to help limit or channel your houghts? and conserve your energy?

me: and my ideas, I have to write them down as soon as I think them or I forget

that's why I send you so much one-line emails

I do write an outline

and I do focus on the essay questions the prof writes

Survival

and I'm thinking of just taking one college course at a time

just really slowing down and try to avoid school taking over my life completely

...I mean school is supposed to be your life, but it's not supposed to take over my entire thought process for months at a time, not even being able to remember the last time I took a shower.

I'm out for the count

It happened again...

"Brain fatigue

Sometimes, after only doing an hour of homework my brain gets fatigued and says 'that's enough'"

I've barely done the dishes today, those 2.5 hours of homework last night put me out for 20 hours and feeling like all I want to do is sleep. I haven't been able to make any progress with my schoolwork and here in week 4 (just like my pattern has been) I feel very very overwhelmed.

Mental: still 9, physical: 8
I've been sitting around pretty much all day saving up energy to write this essay due tomorrow. I don't have much stress about being so last min, but sitting here at 9pm with nothing written is really getting on my nerves.
Last thing done to relive stress: Sleep: 8 hours ago for 13 hours of sleep.

Bad Day

I feel like absolute sh*t today. I'm completely mentally fatigued, with an essay to finish for tomorrow.

Mental: 9.5, Physical: 7
Last thing contributing: 42 pages of reading + notes last night
Last thing done: Stretching, no massage until Wed (3 days) uggg....just the Monday to not have one.

Evaluation of my progress and unrelated non-fatigue.

I re-evaluated on my own, my priorities by keeping track of exactly how much time I do spend on homework, and I found that it wasn't much at all. So I'm in the processing my time management making my homework a lot higher on the list of things to do.

I woke up this morning with mental fatigue, but not much physical. Which was surprising because we went to a party and I stayed up pretty late. So I'd give it a Mental: 6 and Physical 4.5.

Now I'm at a hotel doing my homework, and wrote the evaluation of my schoolwork above. Like I've said, I've been keeping track of how much time I actually do spend on homework and found that it was 10x lower than I mentally thought. Therefore, it's been a lot easier for me to committ to longer periods of homework and study time and I don't feel as overwhelmed.

Now I feel Mental: 7 and physical is 5 after 2.5 hrs of homework, 42 pages of reading...I think I'm doing really well. Oh, and I started my period about 3 days ago.

I would like to note that I read recently that people with fibromyaligia are prone to producing hormones and adreneline to keep up with a faster daily pace of life, but then eventually drain deep down and finally break down, or have such a high cost from stress to their body that they start breaking down physically. I believe I did this 2 years ago after the sleep apnea and I was just trying to do mroe than I could handle and ignoring my pain symptoms, just trying to "get over it".

Brain fatigue

Sometimes, after only doing an hour of homework my brain gets fatigued and says "that's enough"

Exusted

Mental fatigue has already settled in, and I'm hoping my massage today will put me back on track. I was doing good with the IRA Applications, organizing my tax files and putting together my SS Application. Then I got confused about which forms to print, got a headache and my brain quit on me. Played music to help cheer me up/give me energy, but maybe it's too much stimulation.

Pain level - Physical: 3, Mental: 7
Sources: Trying to do too much at once while I had the energy.
Last symptom reducing activity: 12+ hrs sleep, then a massage in 1/2 hour.

Useful

I decided today is a good day and that I should use it for the most long-term benefits for my energy input today. Going to apply for SS Benefits.

Good Day

Today is a good day! Yeah! Not sure why, I do know it's Friday, I didn't wake up to an alarm (but Eric was late for work) and I'm estimating that I got 12+ hours of sleep last night. I even have a massage at 2:15pm!

I'm debating to use my good day for chores, or recovery, or maaaaybe even schoolwork. :) There's my priorities in a nutshell...

Pain level - Physical: 1, Mental: 3
Sources: Tons of sleep, no school until Tuesday
Last symptom reducing activity: Sleeping, then a massage in 2 hours.

School

I'm missing school right now, with everything going on (not even sure what I'm referring to there) I don't think it would have been a good idea to continue cramming more information into my brain. I'm pretty unstable right now.

I'm very glad I made this blog. People are interested in my daily trials...not sure why. Maybe my readers can comment to that? :)

Smells

I'm very very sensitive to smells today. I can smell everyone who smokes the second they walk in the door, which is about 25-30 feet from me.

I, myself, am sweating a ton, no idea why. My glasses are foggy, or is it just my eyesight?

My phone got erased...calendar and contacts mostly. I have back ups for everything else. It happened because AutoSync's default is "replace on device" and if nothing is on the desktop, it erases it on the phone.

Bad hair day

I wish it was just that!
My period started, I have diarriah from who knows what, my bus route got cancelled and I went the wrong way on the freeway this morning, hitting crazy traffic!

I'm glad I'm keeping this blog, half the time I forget my bad days and move on, but I never catch a pattern.

I know it's depressing, I'll try to add fun stuff.

Pain level - Physical: 8, Mental: 8
Sources: Schoolwork, class, transportation
Last symptom reducing activity: Taking it easy at the library right now.

Food

I'm hungry, but almost too cold to cook.

My back feels better, but my digestive system is complaining.

I can't focus on my school work for some reason.

I feel overwhelmed by all the school work and I'm not sure where to start. I'm starting by writing a blog of it, and stream of concenous to start from. I'm writing about my feelings, emotions and pain so I can better keep track of it. I plan to develope a pain scale of 1-10, 1 being managable back and neck aches.

I have fibromayliga and all the symptoms that go with it: anixety, indescriminate muscle pain, unsequential cognitive thinking, distracting pain, irritable bowel syndrome.

"I have fibromayalgia, I'm not fibromayaliga" www.fmaware.org"


I feel foggy and disoriented, overwhelmed and stressed. I have too much going on and not enough destressers to deal with it tonight. I'd ask for help, but I don't know what to ask for.

I'm 22 and struggling to keep up with 10 credits. My life is full and wonderful, a new house, wonderful roommates, kitty cats playing, plenty of time to meditate, collect my thoughts and relax, but it's never enough.

I should be more efficent with my time...and work on my spelling. I'm going to leave all the mispellings on this page so that I know what I need to work on.

This blog will help me, like a person with schizophrenia with a tape recorder.

Pain level - Physical: 2, Mental: 8
Sources: Stress, schoolwork, homework, hungry, cold, tired, overwhelmed, distracted, physical pain, inactivity
Last symptom reducing activity: Massage therapy for 1 hour, 5 hours ago.

Purchasing a house

http://s22.photobucket.com/albums/b301/alohapili/RedmondHouse/?albumview=slideshow

This is a slideshow of our new house! Closing date Feb 7th.

As of today, we've rented out 4 of 6 bedrooms.

Blackboard Learning System - Basic Edition

Blackboard Learning System - Basic Edition

I'm finally beginning my homework.

Edit: (Jan 24th) I finished at about 11pm

Gmail - My Fav google Features - alohapili@gmail.com

Gmail - My Fav google Features - alohapili@gmail.com:

http://www.google.com/base
http://www.google.com/toolbar
http://www.google.com/docs
http://www.google.com/reader
http://www.google.com/notebook
http://www.google.com/calendar

Most of these are beta, so the only way is to stumble upon them :)